Why this book exists
A focused place to understand what is happening
Sanne noticed it happening again from across her mother's kitchen, the way she had noticed it a thousand times across forty-six years, and she felt the old familiar tightening in her chest that told her, before her mind had caught up, that she was about to be the problem. Someone had mentioned the disastrous Christmas of years ago, and heads had turned, gently, almost affectionately, toward her, because in this family the disastrous Christmas was Sanne's fault, the way most things that went wrong were somehow, when the story was finally told, Sanne's fault. Her brother had actually caused the row that year; she remembered it with perfect clarity. But the family did not remember it that way, and to insist on her version would only prove the point.
The writing is designed to reduce shame, bring the underlying pattern into view and give you practical ways to respond without pretending that every life follows the same formula.
