Why this book exists
A focused place to understand what is happening
Tovah came to her first session with a list, which she had typed. She is thirty-eight, she works in procurement for a hospital trust in Bristol, and the list was of things she has outgrown. There were nine items. Her job. Her marriage, which is not unhappy. Her friends, who are kind. Bristol. Running, which she loved for eleven years. Her book group. Her sister, which she said quickly and moved past. The house, which is a nice house. And at the bottom, in a smaller font, all of it. Then she looked up and waited, and I understood that she expected me to be impressed. That is not a criticism. It is the most reasonable expectation in the world. She had brought a life coach a list of things she had transcended, and the entire genre she had been reading.
The writing is designed to reduce shame, bring the underlying pattern into view and give you practical ways to respond without pretending that every life follows the same formula.
