Why this book exists
A focused place to understand what is happening
I want to tell you what I think happened to you, in one sentence, before you decide whether to read this. You were cast. There was an afternoon, usually years ago, usually during something bad, in which a position fell vacant and you stepped into it, and everybody was so relieved that they told you how well you were doing, and nobody ever offered you a different part. What everyone now calls your character is, at least partly, a job you took in an emergency and were never let go from. The emergency ended. The run did not. This is not a book about being too strong. There is no such thing, and any book that tells you your best quality is a defect has misunderstood you so completely that it cannot help. Your strength is genuine. It has got people.
The writing is designed to reduce shame, bring the underlying pattern into view and give you practical ways to respond without pretending that every life follows the same formula.
