Why this book exists
A focused place to understand what is happening
He went to the barbecue. This matters more than anything else in the first half of this book, so I want it established before we go anywhere near a theory. Tobias was invited, he said yes, he drove over, he stayed four hours. He talked to Priya about her extension. He held someone's baby. He laughed at the thing with the gazebo, and the laughing was real. He helped carry the chairs in when it started raining at nine. Then he drove home, and sat in the car outside his flat for a while without going in, and felt worse than when he left. Every account of loneliness he has ever encountered predicts the opposite of that evening. The advice, which he has had from his mother, his GP, two magazine articles and a colleague who meant well, is unanimous: get.
The writing is designed to reduce shame, bring the underlying pattern into view and give you practical ways to respond without pretending that every life follows the same formula.
