Why this book exists
A focused place to understand what is happening
Nine people have told you to forgive him. Not one of them asked what he did. I want to start there, because it is the whole problem in one line. The instruction is delivered, in almost every case, without a single question about the person you are being instructed to let it go: whether he has acknowledged it, whether he has stopped, whether he will do it again at Christmas. The advice arrives pre-formed. It does not require any information about your situation, which should have made you suspicious years ago, because advice that does not need to know anything about your circumstances is not advice. It is a slogan. And you have concluded, because nine people cannot be wrong, that the problem is you. That you are bitter. That you are choosing to.
The writing is designed to reduce shame, bring the underlying pattern into view and give you practical ways to respond without pretending that every life follows the same formula.
