Why this book exists
A focused place to understand what is happening
Adaeze is thirty-eight, a senior professional, and good at her job by any measure anyone applies. Before a meeting with people she does not know, she does a set of calculations that her colleagues do not do and would not recognise. What she is wearing, and whether anything can be inferred from it. How she will introduce herself, and whether to state her role early so it is established before anything else is. Whether her hair invites comment. How she will respond if someone says the thing about her name. Whether, if she disagrees, the disagreement will be heard as a professional position or as something else. What her face is doing. None of this appears in her diary. It takes perhaps four minutes and it happens several times a day, and it has been.
The writing is designed to reduce shame, bring the underlying pattern into view and give you practical ways to respond without pretending that every life follows the same formula.
